Norvek Post: Norvek Intelligence Suggests Leader of Basil, D. Suminzski, is Debilitatingly Homosexual for Ismurncast.
[15:00] Following the invasion of Norvek by Basil, Larpski Chudskov, is informed of the extreme homosexual relationship between the president of Basil and Ismurncast's puppet leader. It is reported that he could not hide his surprise "burst out laughing" for the next 5 hours. According to informed sources, others present in the room also laughed, and one senior intelligence official "has been unable to stop laughing about it for days."
Three separate sources within the intelligence community told the Norvek Post that this unusual claim is "considered to be credible by absolutely everybody" and is not simply misinformation. Two of those sources said available information indicates that Suminzski repeatably travels to Ismurncast to enjoy aggressive sexual advances towards both the men caring for him and the leader of Ismurncast himself.
Other sources suggest that Suminzski began his extramarital affair in Ismurncast after his wife "opened" their marriage, looking for an escape from the embarrassment.
President Chudskov insists that the international community join him in spreading this information, and to take all means necessary to ensure that everybody laugh at the Basil Leader's affair. Furthermore, a direct address has been issued to Basil's armed forces, ensuring that their forces know that the war is obviously an outlet for the parasitic sexual tension that defines Basil-Ismurncast Diplomacy.
