Today, May 1st 2201, Meat Skellog, prominent Drimp ally during his Presidential campaign, was confirmed as the Special Envoy to Pikkastan, following a series of Dritter posts by the President on his disgust at the state of the Pikkastan legal system, as well as how they live in squalor. It comes at a time when the President is under constant attack from the opposition for his friendship with Effery Sexstein.
President Drimp had advised the Senate prior to the assignment, in accordance with the guidelines set out by the Presidental Powers act of 2197, passed when Rhonda Reguwu unilaterally appointed a Special Envoy for the Imperial Union, wanting to bypass the Senatorial discomfort at the prospect by using her executive powers, a move which Drimp said was tyrannical and authoritarian. Upon the opening of the hearing with Vice President Moat Boat stating that
“In recent months, it has been brought to the global table of affairs that Regularised Pikkastan have flaunted uncouth and immoral actions, even if this can be partially blamed upon their unfunded, crippled healthcare, it is inexcusable that in the modern world their population grows in such manners only seen on Syx island. On Friday I discussed with the President what I should state Meat Skellog’s goals in Pikkastan should be, of course I pushed back on a few points however it is my view that the Senate committee here will find these goals we have came up with adequate, I implore any of our bipartisan panel to speak out on any points they disagree with, as I say in all of my committee agendas.
Meat Skellog, of Bown, Samwell State has been put forward by the Executive to further the interests of the United States of Central Kafrica abroad in Regularised Pikkastan, it comes at a time where the world places its gaze upon the malpractice immorality of their legal system. As Special Envoy to Pikkastan, Meat Skellog is to facilitate the regime through peaceful measures into becoming a civilised, dare i say it regular, nation on the global stage. Secondly, President Drimp and many members of the international community that Drimp has called over the last few weeks, told him that their eyes started bleeding upon reading the transmissions from Pikkastans leadership, apparently known as Twenty-Seven which we believe is a reference to an OurTube video about Artificial Intelegence and launching slowbombs to destroy Kerbalkind, the Department of Security is not convinced twenty seven is a rational entity and thus Meat Skellog will take every Bald Eagle per Football field of room the Pikkas give him to diplomatically achieve our goals.
On the interests of ensuring Mr Skellog’s safety, should Pikkastan kidnap or harm Meat Skellog’s person, property or dwelling during his time in Pikkastan or should he be assaulted in any form without a due process extradition of the perpetrator to Central Kafrica for an internationally recognised fair trial, Central Kafrica will consider that an act of war.
I thank you for coming to Memorial House today and for those who canceled events in the states they represent here applaud you for your unwavering commitment to our national security”
After a somewhat boring 2 hours, where the Senatorial panel grilled Meat Skellog himself on his background, his family and why he believes he is fit for the job, the Senate retired to their backroom and deliberated, before reappearing after 20 minutes, affirming Meat Skellog, with a vote of 2 against and 8 for his appointment, as Kafrican Special Envoy to Pikkastan.
God bless the United States of Central Kafrica!
